16 February 2024
One day some years ago I was at the Rec Center in Durango, Colorado where my musical collaborator John Pennington lived and where we played the Animas Festival every year for over ten years. And as I was leaving, I saw a sign that advertised a class they offered called “Yoga for Meditation.” Now looking back, it seems so obvious: “Well, of course yoga for meditation! That’s like saying ‘Cooking for Eating.’” But it’s not and I guess it wasn’t even as obvious to me as it should have been. The whole point of the practice of the asanas is to be able to sit longer in meditation. There is also a teaching that every pose itself is a meditation pose that the yogis found themselves in (“What, this? I was just meditating and suddenly my foot was behind my head!”) but the former works well for me and became a standard part of my spiritual practice early on.
That has come storming back to me here: I have to stretch in the morning if I am to sit in my normal meditation posture for hours on end here as well as eat sitting on the floor, sleeping on a hard bed with little mattress (which I am admittedly used to and prefer), sitting out on my veranda reading, and trying to find a comfortable seated posture at my desk where I am spending long hours these days. Better today but the last few days my body is aching in places I had forgotten about––my lower back, my ankles, the trapezius. I was even struggling to find a good posture to play the guitar yesterday. Some of it might just be pride, I don’t want to my Indian confreres to think of this pale American as being too soft.
My room is on the second floor of one of the three little new duplexes they have built on the property, very nicely built. Each on could house two people in that there are two rooms each with its own bed, but only one bath. It’s well protected from insects, having a solid roof not a thatched one, thanks God. My building is right next to old meditation hall, named aptly the “large meditation hall.” There are now three of them so there is a need to distinguish. I suddenly had the inspiration to use it since it is not being used by anyone else right now. I think they reserve it for large group retreats. It’s nice to do yoga and practice the guitar in my cell too, as I am used to, but what a treat to take that space over for both. Something about the psychological effect of having all that space. There are only a handful of guests here right now and several of the monks are gone. Even if there weren’t so few of us here, I decided that I did not really need to make myself available for socializing even at the tea circle, so outside of two meals a day and the two meditations and three prayer times I have long hours to myself––at least four hours in the morning and four again in the afternoon––and am lapping it up. (And only every now and then feeling a tinge of guilt that I should be so relaxed and happy when the brothers in Big Sur are once again trapped by blocked roads and facing another wave of storms.)
19 February 2024
I got a little sick yesterday and spent most of the day in bed, sleeping and sweating. It seems to have passed already, thanks be to God, and luckily I was well enough to finally get across the street to Ananda Ashram and have lunch with the sisters. The nuns and monks do not have as much interaction as they used to. They only come over here for Mass. They have built their own chapel over there now. Currently there are three living there: Neethi, a former sister of the contemplative branch of the Missionaries of Charity, Mercy, who I met already 20 years ago, and Sanjeevani, an older sister who has come moved from the Camaldolese nuns’ community in the north of India. It was quite a spread, including chocolate ice cream drumsticks and real coffee out of a moka pot (with cream and sugar!). Neethi is quite a ball of energy and does most of the talking for the group and we had a great time getting to know each other. They offered for me to come back when I feel better and I promised I would. I also want to get some photos of the chapel for those of you have know the place and haven’t seen it yet. (I'll post photos of the rest on my Facebook page.)
Being there, I really missed Mary Louise for the first time. How many hours I spent on the porch with her and others, eating banana cremes and singing (on orders!), talking and laughing, and getting spoiled, as is their trademark. I actually stayed there two or three times as well, and I have fond memories of Michael Christian and I meditating in the upper prayer hall, which I christened the Abhishiktananda chapel, after I would spend an hour or so in there practicing the guitar (bathed in sweat). It was there we also celebrated Mass from time to time. I was able to see Mary Louise’ grave yesterday for the first time as well. She is buried facing Shantivanam, as per her
In the meantime, I also did a bunch of research on and thinking about Śiva. I sparked some interesting remarks from folks with my last post. (I sincerely meant no disrespect and I am sorry if it came across that way, as one person thought it did.) In a separate entry I’ll post my meandering thoughts on the topic.
(Please forgive me if I don't answer all the comments on Facebook. I have limited time on the internet.)
